Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
