doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
