Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
