he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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