I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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