Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
