i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
