she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
