my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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