I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
