If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
