How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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