I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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