I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize