It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Randomize
