We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
