Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
