note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
