ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
