so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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