I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
