I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
