what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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