okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize