i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
