I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
