You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
