The maid of honor just puked.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
