dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
