Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize