come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
