Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize