I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
