Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
