I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize