Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
