Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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