she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
