So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
