I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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