thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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