girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
