You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
