Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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