Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
