i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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