I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
