Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
