Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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