I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
pray to the hookup gods
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
