Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i dont even know how to be here
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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