hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
