It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also, beer. Big fan.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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