I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
