He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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