oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize