My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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