I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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