we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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