my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize